Do Nothing

I heard once that the best way to figure out what you want to do is to do nothing at all. Well let me tell you, I have truly embraced this concept since I returned to the US.  Aside from a small list of things to accomplish for repatriation, I have been doing nothing.  At least I thought I was doing nothing.  It turns out that "nothing" for me translates into "waiting".   I had this realization at approximately 0623 this morning when I woke up with a spark of motivation unlike anything I've felt before.  I would love to indulge myself in a terrific engine metaphor here, the spark of motivation igniting the fuels of passion bringing the engine of Being to life! TaDa! (You can take the girl out of the engine room....)  But the point is, allowing myself to do nothing completely cleared the slate and today I was filled with an indescribable rush of pure....knowing!

The dualities of life must and will balance themselves.  I have spent years "staying busy," pulled along by schedules, school, and work, only resting out of sheer exhaustion to begin again before I've even come close to catching up with myself.  When my plane landed in Billings, Montana on January 8th I actively (inactively may be more accurate) began to offset the high-paced blur of the previous twenty-odd years.  I did nothing and it was glorious!  Now, by nothing I don't mean I lay in bed staring at the ceiling in complete silence all day.  I did asanas and pranayama and meditation.  I cleaned, I cooked, I went grocery shopping.  Simply put, I still participated in life, but more as an observer.  This morning I experienced the first moment of harmony, of equilibrium, of that incredible space between high and low where, for the briefest moment, my mind stopped struggling for control over Self and gave in to the Universe.  Atha yoga anushasanam NOW the practice of yoga begins!